How come I keep dealing with same emotional issues repeatedly?
Your emotional health and working through psychological issues are not a destination points. We do not set our emotional issues to the GPS and arrive at our destination at a certain time. The journey of discovery and consistently recalculating the route is the process of identifying childhood traumas, losses, abandonments, and rejections. Working through emotional issues is not a one and done event but cognitively understanding and recognizing the issue is a vital first step; however, making real changes comes from deep within on visceral level. The behavioral nature is to follow familiar patterns despite knowing intellectually the response is unhealthy. It is an unconscious pull to familiarity. When true behavioral change begins to occur, the change will feel uncomfortable, almost as if we are doing something wrong because the change is not how we have dealt with the problem in the past.
How do I cope when the emotions are almost unbearable?
The first thing you do is to identify the feeling. The second thing is to tolerate the feeling without any self-destructive behavior or acting out. When the emotional pain is too unbearable, reach out to a supportive friend, family member, or seek professional help. Also, do something you love to help you cope e.g., take a long walk, paint, or start a journal addressing your thoughts and feelings. In a safe environment, there are no wrong thoughts or feelings, only actions that can be counterproductive. Put all thoughts and feelings into words when coping with difficult situations. The process, although scary and arduous is when the emotional healing and growth occurs.
What to do when there are trust issues?
The first step is to seek professional help. Sorting out trust issues can come from a myriad of different factors. A lack of connection with a parent, betrayal from a parent, spouse, or business partner, relationship inconsistencies, childhood traumas, abandonment, or rejection.
How do I parent my child?
An initial crucial approach to parent a child, is to validate the child's feelings. Let them know they are having all the right feelings and encourage them to express themselves as the parent asks open ended questions. Telling the child they are having all the right feelings is not permission for them to act out on them. The more a parent can validate and support a child’s feelings encourages and helps the child to trust their own instincts. Consequently, as the child matures this reinforces healthier and trusting relationships. When a child is adversely affected or is emotionally shut off, this later creates insecurities, lack of confidence, and can elicit self-destructive behavior.
How to handle a difficult situation in the corporate world?
Whatever the situation is, ask the "W" questions about the situation: Who, What, Where, When. Refrain from asking "Why" and ask "How" or "How come" instead. The why question can be perceived as blaming or accusatory. Hence it can automatically put the person on the defense creating resistant behavior to explore and resolve the issue. Keep the exploration process object oriented. Ask questions and refrain from "your statements". One of the most important things in resolving conflict in any relationship whether between colleagues or otherwise is the person feels validated, heard, and understood. It is at this point where there can be some resolution to the conflict.